Sigh. This is a point of dispute between G and I. Death holds no fear for me, hasn't since I was a teen. There are things in *life* I fear far more than death. Yet I hold on as long as there's strength to do it. G doesn't believe that there is necessarily anything after life. This scares him. The opposite scares me. The thought of rest is welcome.
When I grieve, I grieve for myself. Not by choice. My body takes over with little interference from my mind aside from scheduling it if that option is available. And even if I am sad that another did not get their wishes fulfillled, I recognzie that as a part of *my* grief, as a witness. If I don't want people to die, yes, I might fear the grief coming at a bad time (actually, there is something to be said in my book about putting off the inevitable on occasion) or for feeling abandonment (again, at a time less convenient than others). That's understandable, isn't it?
Then again, one of my "life" goals since I was a child was to have no regrets on my deathbed, and I've done my best to see to this (time will tell if I succeeded). There are those who may have many, many regrets and unresolved issues. The fear of what comes after is more understandable for them. Not a Christian, but I do believe there are those that hell awaits nonetheless. Were I one of them, damn right I'd be scared. With how your mom treated you? And whatever unresolved fear/other issues that motivated this? Her fear is quite understandable to me.
Inflicting needless suffering? Not so much. Any suffering I "inflicted", I would like to think was necessary. Anything beyond that, I would agree with you is pointless and arguably selfish, though please note I'm not necessarily saying selfish is bad. We each have to draw our own conclusions on that front, hopefully with some understanding of balance and karma.
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When I grieve, I grieve for myself. Not by choice. My body takes over with little interference from my mind aside from scheduling it if that option is available. And even if I am sad that another did not get their wishes fulfillled, I recognzie that as a part of *my* grief, as a witness. If I don't want people to die, yes, I might fear the grief coming at a bad time (actually, there is something to be said in my book about putting off the inevitable on occasion) or for feeling abandonment (again, at a time less convenient than others). That's understandable, isn't it?
Then again, one of my "life" goals since I was a child was to have no regrets on my deathbed, and I've done my best to see to this (time will tell if I succeeded). There are those who may have many, many regrets and unresolved issues. The fear of what comes after is more understandable for them. Not a Christian, but I do believe there are those that hell awaits nonetheless. Were I one of them, damn right I'd be scared. With how your mom treated you? And whatever unresolved fear/other issues that motivated this? Her fear is quite understandable to me.
Inflicting needless suffering? Not so much. Any suffering I "inflicted", I would like to think was necessary. Anything beyond that, I would agree with you is pointless and arguably selfish, though please note I'm not necessarily saying selfish is bad. We each have to draw our own conclusions on that front, hopefully with some understanding of balance and karma.