If I were in your shoes, I would want to know more about what went into James' thought process in making this declaration. Is this about feeling like you should have money which you can do anything you want with? Is this about his subjective view that you could make money with some of the things you currently do for free and therefore you SHOULD make money off them? I'd want to know more about what went into this thought before making any sort of decision. I'd also want to ask if he resented the money he makes that gets spent on "your needs". And I would want to discuss the subject of the time and effort you put into maintaining the land you live on. And the time and effort you put into housekeeping. And the time and effort you put into caring for your child.
Basically what all this sums up to for me is that I would want to have a whole lot more information before going forward. Not to say that you couldn't make a decision of your own based on the info you do have, but I have a feeling that it would ultimately not be the decision he expected you to make when he stated his thoughts in the first place. Hence, because he didn't communicate fully, he would be disatisfied with your choice because you couldn't possibly have made the "right decision" based on his thoughts without having shared them entirely....
Make sense?
Alot of times when halleyscomet and I have this sort of thought-process disparity, I insist on talking it out before going further because I know that I'm missing something vital that I can't recreate because I just don't think the same way he does.
You're welcome. I guess that because I've known for a while now that I don't think the same way as my parents or my spouse, its one of the first things that comes to my mind when I am dealing with a situation like this. I spend time trying to figure out what I'm missing about the other person's thought process because I know that if I don't understand that then my actions may not bring satisfaction to either of us. One of my mom's favorite comments to toss off when I was a kid was, "don't expect me to be a mind-reader."
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goddessfarmer) wrote2007-09-20 03:51 pm
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Basically what all this sums up to for me is that I would want to have a whole lot more information before going forward. Not to say that you couldn't make a decision of your own based on the info you do have, but I have a feeling that it would ultimately not be the decision he expected you to make when he stated his thoughts in the first place. Hence, because he didn't communicate fully, he would be disatisfied with your choice because you couldn't possibly have made the "right decision" based on his thoughts without having shared them entirely....
Make sense?
Alot of times when halleyscomet and I have this sort of thought-process disparity, I insist on talking it out before going further because I know that I'm missing something vital that I can't recreate because I just don't think the same way he does.
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