It sounds like the two of you should sit down and talk.
Before that, consider: - How long has it been since you've held a paying job? - How many high-cost hobbies/interests do you have (where, for example, if you were living on your own and making $50K per year, you would not be able to pursue due to lack of money)? - How much of your time is taken up in taking care of James' stuff? (clothes, house, property, farm, bills, taxes, etc.) How much would he have to spend on people who do that sort of thing for a living to take care of stuff if you weren't interested in doing the things you do? - How would it feel to have money of your own that you earned? - How would it feel to be able to say to James "I don't care whether you like/approve of this thing I'm buying. It's not your money, I don't need your approval for this."
I should add here that I'm prejudiced. Most of my feminism comes through in this area. I think it is utterly appalling that for much of history, men controlled women by putting them on the economic leash of "I make the money, and you need my approval to spend it, and thereby I control your actions" I would slowly go insane if I were in a situation where I could not work and earn my own money. YMMV, of course, and significantly so.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-09-20 09:02 pm (UTC)Before that, consider:
- How long has it been since you've held a paying job?
- How many high-cost hobbies/interests do you have (where, for example, if you were living on your own and making $50K per year, you would not be able to pursue due to lack of money)?
- How much of your time is taken up in taking care of James' stuff? (clothes, house, property, farm, bills, taxes, etc.) How much would he have to spend on people who do that sort of thing for a living to take care of stuff if you weren't interested in doing the things you do?
- How would it feel to have money of your own that you earned?
- How would it feel to be able to say to James "I don't care whether you like/approve of this thing I'm buying. It's not your money, I don't need your approval for this."
I should add here that I'm prejudiced. Most of my feminism comes through in this area. I think it is utterly appalling that for much of history, men controlled women by putting them on the economic leash of "I make the money, and you need my approval to spend it, and thereby I control your actions" I would slowly go insane if I were in a situation where I could not work and earn my own money. YMMV, of course, and significantly so.