If he really persists with this line of reasoning, you can re-negotiate who does what around the house, and how much he thinks your time and effort is worth. And put that much money into an account of your own. Or, taking it further, calculate how much it would cost to hire others to do the work you do now so that you can 'get a job'. Or rather, get a different job. What you are doing already *is* a job. Just not something he considers a job, apparently.
and don't forget to balance out that other than his day job (details not important) that i'm pretty sure he works the property as well, and in differing no doubt, but he's putting in the time.
i've some friends that had some difficulties a while ago. after they sat down and wrote it all out, it turns out that some of the grievances were perceptual, and a few other details popped up. for example: she complained she did all the house work/etc, raising the kids/etc, etc/etc. he just had a full time job; 50-60 hours a week. turn out on balance he did a significant amount of "uncounted house work", all the shopping, most of the cooking, all the yard work, and so forth on top of his job. she didn't have a job, but she was also doing a few things that turned up extra income they hadn't thought about, and well, in balance, they were much happier with what they discovered. it's not like either one of them was lolling about eating bonbons and watching daytime tv :)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-09-20 09:21 pm (UTC)The feminist in me says *this*.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-21 03:09 am (UTC)i've some friends that had some difficulties a while ago. after they sat down and wrote it all out, it turns out that some of the grievances were perceptual, and a few other details popped up. for example: she complained she did all the house work/etc, raising the kids/etc, etc/etc. he just had a full time job; 50-60 hours a week. turn out on balance he did a significant amount of "uncounted house work", all the shopping, most of the cooking, all the yard work, and so forth on top of his job. she didn't have a job, but she was also doing a few things that turned up extra income they hadn't thought about, and well, in balance, they were much happier with what they discovered. it's not like either one of them was lolling about eating bonbons and watching daytime tv :)
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