Thoughts on Relationships

[goddessfarmer]

Equality is not about the money, not is it about who does which housework. Equality is a state of mind. It is a state of mind that is less dependant on what you say or how you treat me, and more dependant on how I feel and think about myself. In relationship, equality springs from the heart of each individual into their thoughts, words and deeds. It has never been, nor will it ever be a state that can be dictated or analyzed by anyone external to that relationship. Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so Equality is to the partners in a relationship. That is not to say that every relationship has equality, many don’t. But that no individual external to the relationship can tell for certain about the equality within.

Comments

[quezz.livejournal.com]

I would offer this:

I believe equality rarely springs from the hearts of each individual, because all relationships are about finding your place as one in a party of two. I think our hearts, more than often, convince us that equality is possible or even desirable...when the best you can do is equity....maybe even equaminity on a more sardonic day! We can have an impression of equality...but when you're dealing with individuals who have to be themselves of themselves, equality is not really something to strive for. No two human beings or a level plain spiritually, emotionally, or materially: all you can do is be oneself in relationship to another.

As for external factors determining equality...? Well, one's partner or partners are also external factors to one's sense of equity. Nothing "springs from their hearts" to determine that for you either. All they can do is appreciate who you are at any given moment. Equality, in that scenario, makes no difference.

Just my $.02.

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

amen. like they put it in early america, "all [men] are created equal". not identical, but equal. and if that can be held to be the truth of a society, it can certainly be held to be the truth within a relationship.

I am Joe's raging bile duct

[(Anonymous)]

And along the same lines, no one but yourself is responsible for how you feel.
"You made me feel _____" is not the case, but is in fact your own reaction to a situation.
I cannot "make" you feel anything ( in as far as emotions, etc).
"I felt____ when you ____" is taking responsibility fo your own happiness, and your own sorrow as well.

Re: I am Joe's raging bile duct

[sarahshevett.livejournal.com]

Oops, rebooted the computer and didn't sign back in. My bad.

[intuition-ist.livejournal.com]

well-put.

i would add to that: extreme inequality is often visible from the outside, but the more subtle the inequality, the harder it is for an outsider to comment thereon.

and further: inequality is possible even when, from an outsider's view, everything is picture-perfect.

as well: the line between "well-meaning" and "nosy" is notoriously blurry. one of the reasons i choose to live in a large city is that I get fewer of both, and more opportunities to think/feel/live as I please and not how my neighbors/family/etc. want me to live.

none of which may have any bearing on what you posted. :)

[klingonlandlady.livejournal.com]

Equality? hm. Yeah, it has more to do with attitude and what you each bring to it- like the story of how many native american societies had "men's work" and "women's work" very sharply delineated, but equal in importance and respect... valuing and respecting each other is the main thing, or each feeling that they are valued and respected.